大伙目前所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2，同其他考官范本不同，这篇文章源于考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先卖个关子，倘若你是雅考虑官，根据写作评分的四大项标准， 你会给他打几分呢？
The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.
In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985
Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.
大家先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。
第一从文章的内容上来看，考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化，但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car，local bus 及long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的，先描写也毋庸置疑，但local bus 和long distance bus，变化数据设计不多，同时变化趋势也不相同，放在一块描述没意义。第二，此文没描述表格中的总量这一数据，这也是其失分是什么原因。
再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位，考生的作文中带的是people， 但仔细审题后大家会发现，这篇作文的真的单位实质是miles，通篇文章对单位的理解都是不对的。
下面大家来看结构，通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子，但两段的绝对没。同时，文章开篇直接就描述了最云数据， 缺少了开头段的引入，结尾段也并非考官所期望看到的总结性信息。
不过从词语角度来看， 文章代词及连词用较好
a. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people asitsfigures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride
b. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.
c. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。
从语法角度来看， 文章细小问题较多。
a. 时态：数据变化时间为1985-2000，为一般过去，考生使用的为一般目前。
b. 主谓一致：However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数，谓语动词单数，主谓不同。
c. 名词单复数：There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。
d. 被动语态：as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。
如此的作文到底可以得几分呢， 大家来看下考官评语，实质同大家刚刚剖析时给出的重点是一致的。
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved aBand 6score. Here is the examiner's comment:
This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.
Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.
The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.
当然大家剖析这篇考生习作的最后目的不是想告诉大伙6分的作文错误百出，于思靓老师是期望同学们可以取长补短，像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题，如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要防止出现，像考官特别重视的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大伙能拿到理想的分数。
